Saturday, August 16, 2014

fell of dark, not day



When Robin Williams killed himself, I felt kinship & deep sadness because I’ve wanted to kill myself — depression causes that. When I learned he’d been diagnosed with Parkinsons, I felt sad in a different way. Parkinsons is an awful, body- & mind-disabling disease. I wouldn’t want to endure it either. I too would do my best to kill myself in the early stages, before the disease progressed to the point where I would not be able.

Of course, I didn’t know Robin Williams, so I don’t know whether he killed himself because he chose not to live a diminished life or because he was depressed to the point where he could no longer ask for help. I hope it was the former. I hope I can kill myself before some awful disease diminishes me.

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