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| Anne Waldman & Philip Whalen [jacket] |
Harangue from Newport, to John Wieners, 21:IX:57
What if I never told you
What if I never said what I'm trying
To say now?
A long time ago I thought it would be better
If I hadn't been born
But since I had been it might save trouble
To minimize the same thing:
Play it not only cool but invisible
That doesn't work any more, everybody
Asks: "What's the matter" "Are you mad about something?"
"What's worrying you now?"
Well, what . . .
I just saw my landlord go by
the great carbuncle on his nose
a sea anemone at low tide, petals retracted
center full of sand, the circulation
in his legs is bad so his feet hurt & he has
dizzy spells because he won't stop eating
fried fish
(athero- or arteriosclerosis,
anyway, too much cholesterol)
being some sort of Swede
Now what?
My hernia has skidded again
More:
I found a couple chunks of jasper-agate on the beach
and one entire family (7 or 8 of them) jumping about
in the surf with all their clothes on
being some sort of Dukhobors-in-reverse?
More?
I should burn the garbage and wash the frying pan
I should write you something that would
Scare you, make you laugh
Or generally turn you on
WHAT
I'm doing now: Trying hard to be visible, to be
Totally conscious of this time and place,
of you
And every sentient being
I'm stacking bb's day & night
Working miracles left & right
(Log truck poops by in the street while I'm writing — I
changed it into gold: perfect wisdom, perfect compassion,
perfect freedom. . . . Texas-boot red shirt sideburns bodhisattva driver
instantly swung out of the cab to render his bows and performs
his circumambulations)
NOTICE,
That the landlord still has his carbuncle
That the family who frolicked in the waves have wet sandy
clothes which chafe them
That the frying pan remains unwashed
That the log truck must go live at Ft. Knox
And that nobody can see me, I've closed all the blinds
it being night outside
But everybody knows I'm here
the light's turned on
Notice also that you not only see me clearly
(A MIRACLE)
You understand everything I say.
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